Editorials
Ten ridiculous smart devices that are being marketed as “must-have”
Have you noticed all these smart devices popping up everywhere nowadays? I sure did. Aside from the already mandatory smartphones and a couple of others though, I’m not seeing these gadgets becoming a “thing” any time soon. While smart watches and smart cars have the potential of becoming very useful some day, things like smart washing machines and smart underwear are starting to get pretty ridiculous. With that in mid, I’ve compiled a list of ten ridiculous smart devices that are being marketed by their manufacturers as “must-have”, even though they’re most certainly not. In fact, you can easily pass on these fine products and not feel that you’ve missed anything. As always, some people might find them useful, but for the most of us they’re simply laughable and unnecessary.
The Smart Tea Infuser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZtUoStqVs0
We’re kicking things off with a German product that seems aimed at the stereotypical British person who won’t stand for an imperfect cup of tea. Entitled “Tealightful Timer”, this ongoing Kickstarter project suggests that we’re long past the point where you can just drop a tea bag into hot water and wait for a few minutes. But how will you know when it’s done? Well, if reading the instructions on the tea box is too much of a bother, you can just place the bag into this carefully engineered smart device and let the incorporated timer do its thing. Also available in stainless steel.
The Smart Cup
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu4ukHmXKFU
In case you do plan on getting the electronic tea infuser, you might want to couple it with this other smart device called Vessyl. Just as its name suggests, this is in fact a vessel (not a boat, but a container) and it comes with the incredible ability of identifying any liquid you pour into it. So, if you’re not certain that your cup contains actual tea, coffee, beer, or any other fluid, you can have Vessyl analyze it for you. Now, it’s pretty interesting that this cup is able to do that, but unless you’re incredibly fanatic about fitness, there are very few situations where this smart device can become useful. The advertising video shows at one point a guy pouring beer into the cup and looking happy when the mug confirmed that it was, in fact, beer. I mean, who does that? You already know what’s in there.
The Smart Diaper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvqfUbaoE2M
A product for parents who are too busy to pay much attention to their own child, the smart diaper wants to ensure that the next generations will be connected to the future straight from the word go. No more physically checking the diaper to see if you need to change it as now you simply get a text on your phone that let’s you know. I initially didn’t want to put this one on the list because the latest iterations of this smart device do have some merits thanks to some of their health-monitoring features, but at the same time, it promotes reliance on technology from a very young age, which should definitely not be condoned. On the bright side, there is also an adult version of this smart device and I’m thinking about getting one for myself to be honest. Why go all the way to the bathroom when you can just wear an electronic diaper?
The Smart Bra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzeTxpQ_D-c
Now, let’s say you’re a romantic young girl saving yourself for a unicorn (aka the perfect guy), but you inevitably only run into a-holes and pigs. You wouldn’t want to fall victim to their false declarations of love or strategically placed roofies, would you? While the latter can easily be avoided by using your common sense, the former is a bit more difficult to identify, which is why you might want to consider buying a smart bra. This incredibly futuristic Japanese smart device is so advanced that it knows if the guy loves you even before you do. If he doesn’t, the bra will not unhook under any circumstances. This product will not be fooled by good looks, money, intelligence, or any other things the guy might use to deceive you, so you can be sure that this technology will protect both you dignity and your “single” relationship status. That said, you might also want to find a pair of underwear that offers similar protection, just in case.
The Smart Underwear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H8l7jm0G6Q
As fate would have it, smart underwear already exist, although this particular model was specifically designed for the guys. Gentlemen, meet the Wireless Armour, a smart pair of boxer briefs that can protect your package from all that harmful radiation emanating from the smartphone in your pocket. Although there have been no recorded cases of people developing cancer due to long-time exposure to electromagnetic radiation, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. I find it strange that no one invented a smart helmet to protect our brains from this radiation. After all, one would assume that you’re more exposed to it while your talking on the phone than when it sits idly in your pants. But I’m no scientist, so who knows. At first glance, electronic underwear do seem quite ridiculous, however, it will admit that the name Wireless Armour sounds pretty cool.
The Smart Chopsticks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BChk6WOBjsA#start=0:00;end=2:21;cycles=-1;autoreplay=false
Chinese search giant Baidu came up with some very interesting smart devices over the years, including a smartbike, but this particular product easily takes the cake. Chopsticks have remained virtually unchanged for hundreds of years due to the fact that they’re just mere wooden sticks and work just fine as they are. Well not anymore. By combining ancient Chinese eating utensils with state of the art modern technology, Baidu is proving that even the most simplest of items can be upgraded all the way up to the 21st century. Thus, the Baidu Kuaisou, which literally means Baidu chopsticks. Just joking, I don’t know what it means. What I do know though, is that this smart device can be placed in a body of water (and presumably your food as well) and it will tell you if it contains unwanted substances or not. Paranoid people will undoubtedly have a field day with this one.
The Smart Fork and Knife
Similar to the smart chopsticks but oriented more towards the western markets, the smart fork is yet another electronic utensil that you may want to look into. The purpose of this smart device is to make sure that you’re not eating too fast and it does that by vibrating if you don’t wait at least 10 seconds before taking your next bite. Naturally, you can just ignore it and eat the way you want if the vibrations will start to bug you eventually. The smart fork has actually been around for a couple of years but only became truly useful earlier this month with the introduction of the smart knife. As far as I can tell, the knife performs the exact same function as the fork so you might not find any extra uses for it, but it’s nice to have the complete set regardless.
The Smart Basketball
Are you tying to become a professional basketball player but don’t have the necessary skills? Perhaps this smart device will be able to help you. 94Fifty Smart Sensor Basketball by its full name, this seemingly ordinary orange ball marks one of the first smart entries into the world of sports. The product is said to be able to make you a better player by teaching you “complex skills more quickly”, but at first glance all it does is send data about your game to a smartphone app. Pretty disappointing. It doesn’t really help that the marketing video shows two people who are obviously already good at playing basketball. What do those people need it for? That’s like trying to sell a “how to become an actor for beginners” guide, but then the marketing video is presented by Brad Pitt. As it stands, this smart basketball is useful only if used in conjunction with a human coach.
The Smart Socks
There are multiple versions of this product out there, although most are little more than glorified fitness and health trackers. The 2012 Black Socks however, are truly unique. Marketed as being the smartest socks in the world, this product doesn’t bother with any fancy features and instead opts for sheer efficiency. It really gets annoying when you lose one of your socks in the washing machine, right? And what about sorting multiple pairs of black socks? What a drag. The good news is that such problems are now a thing of the past thanks, again, to modern technology. Each of these electronically enhanced socks comes equipped with a NFC chip that communicates with an iPhone app so that you can keep an eye on the socks even when they’re in the drawer. But the app does more than just keep track of your socks and help you sort them. According to the man in the marketing video, now you can also use the camera on your phone to find out how black your socks are. Truly remarkable! If this smart device can’t help you find your lost socks, nothing will.
The Smart Key
We’re rounding up this list with a smart device specifically designed for people who just can’t seem to keep track of their keys. This smart keychain attachment can connect to your iPhone via an app and sends you a notification whenever you move outside the range of your keys. Now, this device could be very useful in some situations, however, it suffers from a couple of drawbacks. First off, it assumes that you have an iPhone, so if you’re using an Android device you’ll have to physically look for your keys, which is always a bummer. Next, if you lose both your keys and your phone, all hope is pretty much lost. Finally, your keys are much more likely to get stolen if you attach an expensive looking smart device to them. All that being said. the Elgato Smart Key is one of the least ridiculous devices on this list, but responsible adults who can keep track of their keys will probably not find much use for it.
Editorials
5 Reasons You NEED To Play The Final Fantasy VIII Remaster
After many years of fans begging Square Enix to remaster Final Fantasy VII, they finally listened and did just that. There were numerous excuses as to why the game’s re-release had lagged behind the re-releases of both VII and IX, with the most common excuse being that the game’s original code was lost years ago. However, the company made it happen and the game is finally available for modern audiences to play on modern hardware today. We’re going to give you 5 reasons why you should do just that.
First time available on modern hardware
As we’ve already said, this is the first time that the game is available on modern hardware. While the game originally launched for PS1 back in 1999, it later got a PC port in 2000. That means that is has been a whopping 19 years since a new version of the game has been available for purchase, and that wait was a brutal one. However, it is finally over and you can now play this classic game on PS4, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch along with PC. If the lack of modern hardware support was stopping you from checking out, that excuse just got thrown out the window.
The visuals look better than ever
Thankfully, Square Enix did not just slap this port together quickly and throw it out there to shut everyone up. They did a terrific job of putting on a shiny new coat of paint for the game, with the character models in particular looking much better. While things like environment textures didn’t get quite the same amount of attention, this is nevertheless the best that the game has ever looked. It also helps that the game is simply beautiful from a design standpoint, with the game’s world being gorgeous to behold even though we’re dealing with the hardware limitations of 1999.
Quality of life improvements
While those who played the game 20 years ago will still be getting what is essentially the same experience, Square Enix did add some quality of life improvements to put it more in line with current JRPGs. These changes include the likes of increasing battle speed by 3 times, shutting off random encounters completely and even a cheat to give you max HP and limit breaks. While these may seem minor, these will go a long way to ease some of the tedium that many feel after some particularly long gaming sessions. Max HP and Limit Breaks will also make the incredibly tough Ultima and Omega Weapon boss fights a lot easier to deal with.
Triple Triad
The Final Fantasy series is known for having its fair share of enticing side quests and mini games, but there isn’t a single one that is as addicting as Triple Triad. The game is essentially a card game that is played on a 3×3 grid, and each card has a certain number on the top, bottom, left and right sides. You need to place your cards in a manner that the numbers on your cards are higher than your opponents, and seeing as your card can be attacked from four different sides this can be tricky. You’re able to challenge many different characters to a match throughout the course of the entire game, and doing so comes with plenty of nice rewards that will make your quest easier.
The game is awesome
While our previous points focused on specific elements of the game, this one is a simple fact that has been true since 1999: the game is awesome. Unfortunately, releasing immediately after Final Fantasy VII (a watershed moment for gaming) put it under a very cruel microscope, with many knee jerk reactions simply saying it “isn’t as good as VII.” However, in the years that have passed people have revisited the game, and the consensus has definitely changed. This adventure that Square created is unlike any other in the series, being host to an ambitious and bizarre plot filled with some of the best characters the series has ever seen. If you’ve played the game before then this is the perfect time to experience this masterpiece all over again, and if you haven’t then what are you waiting for?
Editorials
10 Huge Games Still Coming In 2019
2019 has been yet another good year for gaming so far, with several games releasing that will be big contenders for game of the year once the curtain closes. However, despite the year already being more than halfway over, there are still some huge titles on the horizon that are sure to make their own dents on the coming best-of lists. This article will list the 10 biggest games that are still coming in 2019.
Control
A new game from Remedy Entertainment is always highly-anticipated, and Control is no different. The game is an action-adventure game in the same style as Alan Wake or Quantum Break, but with a supernatural twist. Players will control Jesse Faden, who possesses a variety of supernatural abilities like telekinesis, levitation and more. She will be using her abilities in order to defeat an enemy known only as the Hiss, which has corrupted reality. Control launches for PS4, Xbox One and PC on August 27th.
Borderlands 3
It has been many years since the last game in the Borderlands series released, but the hiatus is finally coming to an end very soon. Those who have played previous games in the series will feel right at home with this game, as it’s once again a loot-driven FPS. The game will offer more zany characters and a charming and insane world to explore, all while dealing with new antagonists Troy and Tyreen Calypso along with their Children of the Vault cult. Borderlands 3 launches for PS4, Xbox One and PC on September 13th, with a Google Stadia port release date being TBA.
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Breakpoint
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon series is returning soon with Breakpoint, which will serve as a continuation of previous game Wildlands. The game is set in an open world environment called Aurora, which is a fictional island in the Pacific Ocean. Players will control Lieutenant Colonel Anthony “Nomad” Perryman, who is a special forces operative that was sent to the island to investigate a series of disturbances in the area. Breakpoint launches for PS4, Xbox One and PC on October 4th, with a Google Stadia port coming in November.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Each new installment in the Call of Duty series is always huge, but Modern Warfare’s release marks a first for the long-running franchise. It will be the first game in the series that is reimagining of a previous game in the series, taking 2004’s original game and updating its mechanics and themes to match today’s world. The game will still have some of the beats that the first game had, but will also incorporate lots of surprises to make it a fresh experience. Modern Warfare launches for PS4, Xbox One and PC on October 25th.
The Outer Worlds
Obsidian Entertainment’s The Outer Worlds is one that will be very highly-anticipated for fans of Fallout: New Vegas, as this game serves as a sort of spiritual successor to that game. It will be an open world RPG that allows you to explore many unique areas crawling with plenty of deadly foes. Players will also be able to encounter and recruit NPCs as companions that have their own personal missions and stories to take part in. The Outer Worlds launches for PS4, Xbox One and PC on October 25th, with a Switch port also being in the works.
Luigi’s Mansion 3
It seemed very unlikely that Luigi’s Mansion would become a recurring franchise for Nintendo following the original GameCube game, but here we are. Luigi’s Mansion 3 is coming to Switch, which also means it will be the first home console release since the original game back in 2003. This time the game is set in a haunted hotel rather than a mansion, and Luigi has some new tricks up his sleeves to take down all those ghosts. Luigi’s Mansion 3 will launch exclusively for Nintendo Switch on October 31st.
Death Stranding
If you’re looking for the most ambitious (and weirdest) game still coming in 2019, then look no further. Hideo Kojima’s Death Stranding has perplexed gamers ever since its announcement, and each new trailer that releases just brings more and more questions to the table. It is Kojima’s first game since breaking up with Konami after the release of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phanton Pain (and the cancellation of Silent Hills), and it looks like Kojima has taken the newfound complete creative control to deliver something truly original. Death Stranding launches exclusively for PS4 on November 8th.
Pokemon Sword & Shield
At this point we all know what to expect from a new Pokemon game, and Sword and Shield seems poised to deliver even more cute creatures for players to capture and battle very soon. What sets Sword and Shield apart from its predecessors is that it will be the first home console release for the series, which is saying something considering the series has been around for over 20 years. Pokemon Sword & Shield launches exclusively for Switch on November 15th.
Shenmue III
If you’re a fan of Shenmue then nothing needs to be said for the inclusion of the upcoming third game on this list. Fans of the series have been waiting nearly two decades for a follow-up to the second game, and in just a couple of months that will finally be delivered to them. Brought to life thanks to an extremely successful Kickstarter campaign, the game continues the adventure of protagonist Ryo Hazuki as he hunts down his father’s killer. Shenmue III will launch for PS4 and PC on November 19th.
DOOM Eternal
id Software’s DOOM 2016 was one of the best FPS games to come along in years, so it’s a no-brainer that the follow-up would be on this list. Eternal is set to offer yet another intense FPS campaign for players to plunge into, while also offering a multiplayer component that greatly improves upon the last game’s underwhelming multiplayer mode. There will also be twice as many demon types than there was in the last game, meaning that the chaos level just got that much higher. DOOM Eternal launches for PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, Google Stadia and PC on November 22nd.
Editorials
5 Most Exciting Announcements From The Xbox E3 2019 Press Conference
Microsoft’s Xbox E3 2019 Press Conference has officially come to an end, and with it came plenty of big announcements to get excited about. Some new games were announced, whereas previously-announced games got new footage and/or release dates. In this article we’ve narrowed it all down to the 5 most exciting announcements.
New Xbox “Project Scarlett” Coming Holiday 2020
We’ve known for a while now that a new Xbox was in the works, but now we know when to expect it. Microsoft’s fourth console (which hopefully has a better official name than Xbox One did) will be a big step up from the previous console. Things like much faster load times, an AMD Processor that is four times more powerful than the Xbox One X, 8K Resolution and 120 FPS were all mentioned. A price and exact release date weren’t mentioned. It will also be launching with…
Halo Infinite Coming Holiday 2020, Launching On Both Xbox One and Project Scarlett
The wait for the next Halo game has been longer than ever before for series fans, and the announcement at E3 revealed that the wait will continue. Halo Infinite will not be launching until Holiday 2020, meaning it will have been 5 years since the previous game released with Halo 5. It will also be launching on Xbox One and Project Scarlett, meaning the new console will have a big launch title for fans to get pumped about.
Cyberpunk 2077 Coming April 2020, Stars Keanu Reeves
It’s hard to pick a game that people have been more excited about than Cyberpunk 2077, and after Microsoft’s press conference we’re even more excited. Not only is it coming in April of next year, but Keanu Reeves himself will be playing a “key” role in the game. Everything shown from the game has looked great so far, so hopefully it all pans out and we have another classic from CD Projekt RED come April 2020.
FromSoftware and George R.R. Martin Collaboration Elden Ring Announced
This one was actually leaked prior to the presentation, but Dark Souls developer FromSoftware and Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin are collaborating on a new game. The game is called Elden Ring, and it will be a departure from the developer’s most recent games as it will be open world. Very little information on the game is known at this point, as it is still in the early stages of development.
Phantasy Star Online 2 Is Coming West
It took a very long time, but the popular MMORPG is finally coming west. The game is coming to Xbox One in a free-to-play form in Spring 2020, so the wait won’t be that much longer. “There will be no limitations on game experiences,”says Sega, because they want to “provide all players with a fair and exciting experience.”
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